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Friday, May 21, 2010

It's Been a While...

It has been quite a while since I've written a blog post. I've tried several times over the last month and a half and just couldn't bring myself to finish one.
To say I've had some drama going on here is an understatement. I live in a never ending fucking soap opera without all the money, good looking people and big houses. I guess that would make what goes on here, more like an episode of Jerry Springer (not even kidding).

I am turning 40 in just 8 short days and this is sooo NOT where I want my life to be. I never really thought about what I wanted out of life, but I can tell you right isn't THIS.
I didn't dream of having some awesome career. I always knew I wanted to be a Mom and never thought much past that.
I didn't think that my life would consist of having a disabled husband, living next door to my in-laws, dealing with a severe alcoholic brother-in-law, not having any contact with two out of three of my step-children (and now two step-grandchildren) and the one step-child and grandson I do have a relationship with, would be strained at the moment. Believe me when I tell you, I'm not even touching the tip of the iceberg that is my SUCK-ASS life.

I am grateful for my family, friends and two sons. Those are the people and relationships I'm going to focus 100% of my attention on now. It won't be easy considering the crazies all live next door and in the same town as me, but I have to TRY. (for my sanity)

I am going to make a "bucket list" of sorts.... it will consist of things I want and need to do.
Think I'll make that a separate post. (hey, I need all the help I can get lately)


Cheryl said...

Hey you! You know i'm here for ya! It will all work out! :)

Trish said...

{{HUGS}} Yesterday was a bit on the busy crazy side and I pulled your link as soon as you tweeted, just now getting to read it!

I am so sorry you a re going through all of can be really hard...relatives can certainly be challenging. Probably the most challenging things we ever have to deal with. Probably because some feel we do not have to treat family members with the same kindness of strangers, some re-live how they grew up.

I have a good set of ears and listen well if you need a sounding board.

Blogging is a great start...get the feelings...emotions out.


Pamela M. Kramer said...

Lists are great! They put you back in focus. I'm gonna say a prayer for you. When life gets tough go running/walking it's a great way to destress. You can only control your own actions, right??

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